Let’s talk love languages!
Have you heard of these before? I had never heard of different love languages, and the love language book/test until starting to date Ryan! We made it a point early on in our relationship to discuss love languages, and to take the quiz and read the book together as a commitment to growing our relationship!
I cannot say enough good things about this book and what it does for relationships…because crazy enough the way that you want to receive love, is not always the number one way that other people feel loved! Let me explain that a little more…
Meaning, if I feel that the biggest act of love is always having a clean house, or folded clothes put away, I then instinctually do those things for Ryan thinking that that is showing my greatest love! And yes it is love no matter what, but to him another act of a love language may be way higher up, so I need to prioritize that even (more if that makes sense).
To make it more personal, at the beginning of our relationship, I was always leaving little surprises and doing different gifts and special things for Ryan to come home to after a long day of basketball, or if we were doing long-distance sending things and he absolutely loved adored and appreciated it, but physical touch and words of affirmation, for example, go way higher for him!
The reason being is because I love the little acts of service and gift giving, and let me set the precedent straight here before we go any further, (I feel like gift giving in a nut shell kind of sounds really egotistic and like a bratty type of love language and I’ve had a hard time excepting it) but I really feel like acts of service and gift giving go hand-in-hand; reason being is I’m not asking for a Louis Vuitton every day (hey, I’m not gonna complain if that shows up at my door), but I’m more thinking like how he stopped to get gas on his way home and saw my favorite candy and brought it home, or if I went downstairs & the dishes were clean, or that he left me a note, it’s the thinking of me and feeling appreciated that goes miles for me!
I’m going to attach at the end of this, the love language test book and a fun game, because I cannot recommend it enough! Whether you are single, engaged, dating, married etc., and I think it’s also great to go back to at different times to remind yourself that everyone is felt and loved differently. & how to make sure that you’re always putting love languages in the forefront of your relationship!
I say this to just know where your partner feels the most love, and what is in the top of their love languages, but definitely not to shy away from expressing and doing every single love language…like yes physical touch and words of affirmation may be higher up for Ryan, but I’m not going to completely shy away from quality time, acts of service, and gift giving right?! We want to have a balanced relationship, but we also know where we can shine and where they’re going to feel the most love and appreciation.
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the motions and go through day today so I make sure in my affirmations every single day, to remind myself to prioritize our love languages! Something that Ryan and I do, is if we are ever feeling like our love tank is on empty, to share that with each other…because sometimes and more often than not it’s something that we are totally not even realizing that were slacking on because we’re just caught up in the craziness of life/travel/ and things that go on. It’s normal to feel that way from time to time, but it’s also great to have accountability to remind each other when you’re not feeling the love! This whole book explains the whole love languages in its entirety, love tanks, and to challenge each other and continuous level up your relationship (I cannot recommend it enough I probably said that 55 times already LOL, but it is true).
But seriously I feel like knowing and understanding this is so pivotal, it is one of the pillars in Ryan and I’s relationship, and why I think we do have such a strong relationship. Also not that it’s about a competition or keeping scores/tabs etc. because love is selfless, but you’re always going to be more eager, willing, and wanting to do these things for your partner when you’re feeling it in return. So start the initiative…go do something special for them, maybe make a challenge to do something every week, and YES some things are going to be bigger and more thought out than others…but don’t overestimate a little fold of the blanket, a little picking up of your clothes, a little cute flirty text, as so on, all these different things add up and are going to allow your SO to feel loved and cared for; which ultimately is going to result in a more abundant growing evolving relationship which is what we all want!
Have you heard and do you practice the love languages in your life!? Let me know in the comments or message me privately the email or Instagram! Attached below is the book, game, and the love language quiz!
&& thats the rundown!
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