Love, Baby Love

Let’s talk love languages!

Have you heard of these before? I had never heard of different love languages, and the love language book/test until starting to date Ryan! We made it a point early on in our relationship to discuss love languages, and to take the quiz and read the book together as a commitment to growing our relationship!

I cannot say enough good things about this book and what it does for relationships…because crazy enough the way that you want to receive love, is not always the number one way that other people feel loved! Let me explain that a little more…

Meaning, if I feel that the biggest act of love is always having a clean house, or folded clothes put away, I then instinctually do those things for Ryan thinking that that is showing my greatest love! And yes it is love no matter what, but to him another act of a love language may be way higher up, so I need to prioritize that even (more if that makes sense).

To make it more personal, at the beginning of our relationship, I was always leaving little surprises and doing different gifts and special things for Ryan to come home to after a long day of basketball, or if we were doing long-distance sending things and he absolutely loved adored and appreciated it, but physical touch and words of affirmation, for example, go way higher for him!

The reason being is because I love the little acts of service and gift giving, and let me set the precedent straight here before we go any further, (I feel like gift giving in a nut shell kind of sounds really egotistic and like a bratty type of love language and I’ve had a hard time excepting it) but I really feel like acts of service and gift giving go hand-in-hand; reason being is I’m not asking for a Louis Vuitton every day (hey, I’m not gonna complain if that shows up at my door), but I’m more thinking like how he stopped to get gas on his way home and saw my favorite candy and brought it home, or if I went downstairs & the dishes were clean, or that he left me a note, it’s the thinking of me and feeling appreciated that goes miles for me!

I’m going to attach at the end of this, the love language test book and a fun game, because I cannot recommend it enough! Whether you are single, engaged, dating, married etc., and I think it’s also great to go back to at different times to remind yourself that everyone is felt and loved differently. & how to make sure that you’re always putting love languages in the forefront of your relationship!

I say this to just know where your partner feels the most love, and what is in the top of their love languages, but definitely not to shy away from expressing and doing every single love language…like yes physical touch and words of affirmation may be higher up for Ryan, but I’m not going to completely shy away from quality time, acts of service, and gift giving right?! We want to have a balanced relationship, but we also know where we can shine and where they’re going to feel the most love and appreciation.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the motions and go through day today so I make sure in my affirmations every single day, to remind myself to prioritize our love languages! Something that Ryan and I do, is if we are ever feeling like our love tank is on empty, to share that with each other…because sometimes and more often than not it’s something that we are totally not even realizing that were slacking on because we’re just caught up in the craziness of life/travel/ and things that go on. It’s normal to feel that way from time to time, but it’s also great to have accountability to remind each other when you’re not feeling the love! This whole book explains the whole love languages in its entirety, love tanks, and to challenge each other and continuous level up your relationship (I cannot recommend it enough I probably said that 55 times already LOL, but it is true).

But seriously I feel like knowing and understanding this is so pivotal, it is one of the pillars in Ryan and I’s relationship, and why I think we do have such a strong relationship. Also not that it’s about a competition or keeping scores/tabs etc. because love is selfless, but you’re always going to be more eager, willing, and wanting to do these things for your partner when you’re feeling it in return. So start the initiative…go do something special for them, maybe make a challenge to do something every week, and YES some things are going to be bigger and more thought out than others…but don’t overestimate a little fold of the blanket, a little picking up of your clothes, a little cute flirty text, as so on, all these different things add up and are going to allow your SO to feel loved and cared for; which ultimately is going to result in a more abundant growing evolving relationship which is what we all want!

Have you heard and do you practice the love languages in your life!? Let me know in the comments or message me privately the email or Instagram! Attached below is the book, game, and the love language quiz!

&& thats the rundown!

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Card Game:

Ryan James

This is probably my most favorite subject that I will get into because if you have followed me for the past few years you know how thankful I am for this one.

By this one, I mean the love of my life and best friend; Ryan James.

I will keep things short and sweet today to just introduce everybody to our relationship, and just know that there be a lot of meaty questions and answers and fun juicy things that I can’t wait to share with you and hopefully we can connect deeper through relationships…because truly life is all about our relationships with other people (whether that be intimate or friendships or business partners etc).

To make a long story short I went to the University of Louisville in summer of 2014 for college as well as to be a dancer on the University of Louisville ladybirds dance team. Ryan in the early summer of 2015, made his way to the University of Louisville to play D1 Louisville basketball.

At the University, the athletes really stuck together (honestly I felt like we were in our own little world and it’s crazy how many people outside of the athletic world that I met throughout my four years of college very limited LOL), but anyways we hung out a lot and therefore at some different parties and hang outs…Ryan and I got to know each other. But little did I know that months before when his teammates were searching their Instagrams, while bored on an empty campus while training for ball, and just around campus that he had already “laid claim to me”.  When we had our welcome back athlete dinner at the beginning of every year he said that he spotted me in my red dress and that he again told all of his teammates that I was off limits to everyone else, and that he was going to win me over and get me (he is a determined guy, love that about him).

So we hung out and we bonded immediately. We have similar morals and beliefs and personalities..we were also raised very similar by our families and so we had amazing conversations and really honestly quite became great friends and I was so beyond thankful for him. However, I did not know that on his end of the things that he was feeling more than just friends and so he let me know months into our friendship and at the moment I just was extremely immature and not ready to be in a relationship and honestly was looking for the wrong things in guys. Anyways, so I politely let him know that I wanted to keep our friendship and it meant too much for me to risk it to go a romantic route, and while he accepted it…our relationship definitely dwindled some and we didn’t get to talk much and communicate much for the next 7 months-ish.

It was in September 2016 (woah that sounds so long ago lol) around Ryan’s birthday we ran into each other at the bar. I was definitely intoxicated, so I had some extra courage to go up to Ryan and let him know how much I missed him and our friendship. He admitted that he felt the same and from there we became friends or rather communicating friends again, but Ryan definitely left the ball in my court (no pun intended), and in his words decided “you know just accept being friends with her and then it’s not gonna happen in the other way”.

It wasn’t until we were at a party a few months later hanging out, when he was helping me with a guy I liked. Basically telling the guy to go for me, etc., that I realize WOW he truly is such a great guy and friend…but also dang I kind of liked when he liked me hahaha.

And so from there since he had already tried on his end, I started to send him some signs I was looking maybe for something more than friends and we began to talk, flirt, and we hung out for the first time and the rest is history.

Truly, the first time we hung out in person “romantically” was seriously the easiest and most organic thing I ever felt and I knew from that moment on that he was 150,000,000% the one.

We’re celebrating our four years of dating on March 15 2021!! And I’m so beyond in love with all of him and our relationship but I’ll get into that later.

Please share with me what you want to hear about relationships or guy wise,and I’ll be sure to get to it in time!!

&& that’s the rundown,



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